Stephanie Foster

The process of therapy is mysterious for many people. Many clients often approach their first therapy session with trepidation. They do not know what to expect in the session, or how they will feel about confiding in a stranger. The way therapy is portrayed in the movies and on television may influence your expectations. The purpose of this article is to debunk some of these myths about therapy, and more importantly, how to set yourself up for success in the process.

In my practice, I have regular access to preconceived notions about therapy. A very common myth is that therapist has the ability to solve the problem the client is experiencing. It is important to remember that while the therapist can offer guidance, clients solve their own problems. Therapy, in and of itself, is not a solution. I often describe therapy as a tool in the problem solving process.

In order to make best use of this tool called therapy, I would respectfully submit some suggestions:

1) Enter into therapy with a SMART goal:

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Tangible

It is important to consider your specific goals before attending therapy. A discussion with the therapist may help you to zero in on your goals. I hear many clients say, “I want to be happy” or, “I just want to get my head straight.” In these situations, I try to help them focus on what happiness means for them, or how things would be different if they ‘got their head straight.’ It is important to remember that you are the expert on your own life. The more you can tell the therapist about what you want and need, the greater the likelihood of therapeutic success.

2) Make sure that you are comfortable with your therapist.

The research on therapeutic outcomes has shown that approximately 30% of counselling success is tied to the relationship between the therapist and the client. If you feel that you and your therapist are not a fit, it is important to find a better match. You should feel that the therapist understands your goals and is offering strategies that make sense for your life.

3) Are you ready?

Therapy is a demanding process. The time spent in session is the very least of the commitment. In order to achieve meaningful change, you will need to spend time between sessions practicing new skills and thinking about ways to improve your outcomes. The real work happens during the 167 hours a week that you are out of session.

The issue of timing and readiness is particularly important for marital/couple therapy. A successful couple process requires two people who recognize their problems but are still committed to staying in the relationship. It also requires two people who are willing to take responsibility for change. I have seen many clients who are unsure if they want to stay in their relationship but are attending couples therapy. In these situations, the therapeutic process tends to stall because neither person is sure that they want to be there. Prior to beginning couple therapy, please have a frank discussion with your partner about where you are at in the relationship. If you are unsure, individual therapy can help to facilitate decision-making.

Therapy is a great tool and many people enjoy benefits from talking to a professional. To get the maximum benefit, it is important to know what you want and for the therapist to know it, too. Set yourself up for success by having clear goals and getting ready to achieve them.